Saturday, January 22, 2022

November 2021 Books Read Standouts: Reign Of The Seven Spellblades, Vol. 1 / Maniac Of New York, Vol. 1: The Death Train

Reign Of The Seven Spellblades, Vol. 1

Written By: Bokuto Uno

Art By: Sakae Esuno, Ruria Miyuki


    Okay we all know what comes to mind when Americans think of 'magic boarding school', right? That's right: Neil Gaiman's The Books of Magic, which was about a dark-haired, bespectacled orphan drawn into a world of magical wonder that he's destined to either save or destroy, and which came out almost a decade before a certain belligerent transphobe's career took off. (I'm joshing, Gaiman himself said that he "wasn't the first writer to create a young magician with potential, nor was Rowling the first to send one to school"; She Who Must Not Be Named is a monster that created a Micky Mouse-level property and decided to use that success, power and privilege to hurt people that have no ability to punch back, but she's not a plagiarist.)
    No, of course I mean Hank Ceramicist & The Sudden McGuffin, a thing that was accessible and, to its credit, opened countless young minds to the magic of reading; sadly, it seems they frequently didn't go on to read much else, but this is the war for literacy in America, and we are prepared to take what we can get and call it a victory. ROTSS takes the by-now thin and threadbare Academy of Adventure genre, makes extremely minimal tweaks, and the result is substantially better and more engaging from the very first chapter. How do you feel about:
  • A magic school where where children learn mystic arts, which now include swordfighting
  • A cast of characters with more than one personality trait, including being from other countries without being huge ethnic stereotypes with names like Seamus Finnegan, Cho Chang and a black guy named 'Shacklebolt', Jesus Christ Joanne what were you thinking
  • One character who is not a wizard learning swordfighting, no no my friends, but a samurai learning combat-magics
  • Teachers who actually do things! ADMITTEDLY: Some of those things are drinking while running a class, or attacking students with flaming knives in the middle of lessons, BUT STILL
    Obviously it's glib and reductive to describe anything as "Property X meets Property Y", or "Other Property But With This Change", but it's a useful shorthand. That said, ROTSS has a lot to offer on its own merits: an intriguing magic system, the seeds of some pretty interesting political drama involving one of the students who's foreign royalty, the aforementioned samurai clearly having PTSD, and a central mystery involving the titular Seventh Spellblade, terrifyingly powerful magical sword techniques of which there are, we are assured, only six in the world. It lays a LOT of groundwork for storylines to come, eschewing the common (but by no means bad) manga production technique of basically just coming up with something that happens that week. Also, apropos of nothing, their school uniforms are INCREDIBLE Kingdom Hearts-ass robe/hoodie hybrids, and as a renowned slut for a nice coat that definitely tips the scales in the book's favor for THIS citizen.

    Overall, ROTSS, Vol. 1 is a very strong start and found a place on my preorder-on-sight list before the end of the first chapter; I can't wait to see where it goes and how many teachers it has to fight when it gets there.

Score: 8.5/10 Roast Chickens That Were Supposed To Be For EVERYONE, LITTLE MISS BIG HUNGRY SAMURAI

Saturday, January 15, 2022

October 2021 Books Read Standouts: The Superior Foes of Spider-Man, Vol. 1: Getting The Band Back Together / Head Lopper, Vol. 2: Head Lopper & The Crimson Tower

The Superior Foes of Spider-Man, Vol. 1: Getting The Band Back Together

Written By Nick Spencer

Artwork by Steve Lieber

        Haaaaaaaaa shit this is a fun book. The name Nick Spencer, at least in this house, is synonymous with Amazing Spider-Man By Nick Spencer and, a brief Wikipedia check confirms, HOLY SHIT BEDLAM WITH GENUINE ART-PSYCHOPATH RYAN BROWNE, WHAT THE FUCK--sorry, I wasn't expecting that; Bedlam absolutely rules, and if given the chance I would personally feed the exec at Image who canceled it to THE UNGUS.

[UNGUS not pictured for your safety]

    Look, Fred Myers--some-a-time called Boomerang--is a supercriminal (provided a laissez-faire definition of 'super'), washed-up baseballer, world-class sonofabitch and Class 3 Australian. He's a low-stakes semi-regular enemy of various Spidered-Men; I for one, do not care for him, and you may quote me. In f--wait, Fred Myers? Like the--hold on, I have to look this up--

A phone-screencap of the Marvel Database article describing Fred Myers, Australian criminalA phone-screencap describing Fred Meyer, the grocery store
Ohhhhhhh, okay

    Sorry to stop for two research breaks in the same chunkle, that was gonna bug me, BUT NOW WE KNOW THE STUPID TRUTH.
    Anyway Fred's a hilariously incompetent con-man who manages to convince an incarnation of the Sinister Six who only number five to come together for One Last Job; the only problem is that he's promised the spoils not only to his partners, but to at least one powerful, murderous mobster in whose debt he sweatily rests. The item in question? As if you hadn't guessed yet, it's the undying cyborg head of the mob family's leader, which has been missing for years, and would bestow control of the New York mafia upon anyone who found it. How are you supposed to split a living, probably racist head between the mob and your crew, and then further divide it amongst the latter? THAT, my friends, is a problem for Future Fred, and that motherfucker is on his own. Further complicating matters is that one of his crew is the latest incarnation of The Beetle, who happens to be the daughter of the POSSIBLY UNKILLABLE TOMBSTONE, YET ANOTHER MOBSTER. And finally, yet another classic Spidey villain, Norman Osborn, has joined up with organized crime as the Mobgoblin, and--no, I made that one up, but now I wish it was real, and we all have to go home a little sadder because it isn't.

    TSFOS-M is a hell of a lot of fun, especially given a pretty self-awarely watered-down Sinister Six, a deeply unlikeable protagonist who is nonetheless pretty good at keeping a lot of plates spinning and a lot of people looking where he wants them to look, and a real humanization of some one-note villains who have frankly gotten used to being first-act wall-crawler punching bags in stories about more engaging and dramatic enemies. It's also, and I'm trying to find a way to say this without sounding unkind, a hell of a lot funnier than I expected a Nick Spencer book to be. His main Spider-Man title is great, but it's not a funny book, because Spider-Man needs to be a stand-outingly funny character in it; because this is an ensemble story, no one character needs to shine on that wavelength and good goofs are just all over the place from antiheroes and bartenders and mobsters and food-cart vendors and severed robot heads. Although in retrospect, his work on Bedlam with Ryan Browne makes a lot of sense because that book is way funnier than a story about a mass murderer has any right to be.
    This is a very strong first volume, and there are only three total, so these jackasses won't wear on you too much and overstay their welcome, and the limited nature of the series lets the story really bounce around in some bonkers ways while staying in the same general area, so by the time the dust settles you feel like you really know this weird, stupid little slice of the world. I recommend you visit, and get the hell out when your time is done.

Score: 8/10 Heist-Crew Recruitment Scenes Attempting To Enlist THE UNGUS

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Books Read 2021

R: Re-read

RTD: Read To (my wife) Deej (at bedtime)


JANUARY

1st. 
  1. Lumberjanes, Vol. 5: Band Together (R)
2nd
  1. Dragon Ball Z Full Color: Freeza Arc, Vol. 3
9th
  1. Dragon Ball Z Full Color: Freeza Arc, Vol. 4
  2. Dragon Ball Z Full Color: Freeza Arc, Vol. 5
10th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 12
13th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 13
16th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 14
17th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 15
18th
  1. How To Break Into A Hotel Room - Stephen Graham Jones (Short Story, Nightmare Magazine Vol. 100)
  2. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 16
20th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 17
  2. How Long Til Black Future Month? - N.K. Jemisin
21st
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 18
  2. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 19
23rd
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 20
25th
  1. The Only Good Indians - Stephen Graham Jones (R) (RTD)
29th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 21
31st
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 22


FEBRUARY
9th
  1. The Stormlight Archive Book One: The Way of Kings - Brandon Sanderson (R)
  2. Dragon Ball Z, Col. 23
11th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 24
13th
  1. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 25
  2. Dragon Ball Z, Vol. 26
14th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 1 (R)
15th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 2 (R)
16th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 3 (R)
18th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 4 (R)
20th
  1. Giant Day, Vol. 5 (R)
24th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 6 (R)
26th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 7 (R)
27th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 8 (R)
28th
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 9 (R)
  2. Giant Days, Vol. 10 (R)


MARCH
1st
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 11 (R)
2nd
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 12 (R)
3rd
  1. Giant Days, Vol. 13
  2. Giant Days, Vol. 14
  3. The Way Of The Househusband, Vol. 1
4th
  1. The Way Of The Househusband, Vol. 2
5th
  1. The Way Of The Househusband, Vol. 3
  2. The Way Of The Househusband, Vol. 4
7th
  1. The Empty Man
9th
  1. Chainsaw Man, Vol. 3
  2. Lumberjanes, Vol. 6: Sink Or Swim (R)
  3. House Of Sand And Fog (RTD)
10th
  1. Lumberjanes, Vol. 7: A Bird's-Eye View (R)
  2. Lumberjanes, Vol 8: Stone Cold (R)
14th
  1. Batman (2016), Vol. 1: Their Dark Designs
16th
  1. Batman (2016), Vol. 2: The Joker War
17th
  1. Ice Cream Man, Vol. 5
18th
  1. Immortal Hulk, Vol. 8: The Keeper Of The Door
22th
  1. Deep Roots
  2. Borne - Jeff VanderMeer
24th
  1. The Scumbag, Vol. 1: Cocainefinger
  2. Lumberjanes, Vol. 10: Parents' Day
25th
  1. Fire Punch, Vol. 1
27th
  1. Fire Punch, Vol. 2
28th
  1. Fire Punch, Vol. 3
29th
  1. Fire Punch, Vol. 4
  2. Fire Punch, Vol. 5
30th
  1. Stillwater, Vol. 1: Rage, Rage
  2. Fire Punch, Vol. 6
  3. Fire Punch, Vol. 7
  4. Fire Punch, Vol. 8
  5. Cannery Row - John Steinbeck (R) (RTD)
31st
  1. Lumberjanes, Vol. 11: Time After Crime (R)
  2. Lumberjanes, Vol. 12: Jackalope Springs Eternal (R)
  3. Lumberjanes, Vol. 13: Indoor Recess (R)
  4. Lumberjanes, Vol. 14: X Marks The Spot


APRIL
3rd
  1. Lumberjanes, Vol. 15: Birthday Smarty
  2. Lumberjanes, Vol. 16: Mind Over Mettle
  3. Lumberjanes, Vol. 17: Smitten In The Stars
4th
  1. Heterogenia Linguistico, Vol. 1
6th
  1. Heterogenia Linguistico, Vol. 2
8th
  1. Reincarnated As A Sword, Vol. 1
  2. Reincarnated As A Sword, Vol. 2
10th
  1. The Department Of Truth, Vol. 1: The End Of The World
  2. Drugstore In Another World: The Slow Life Of A Cheat Pharmacist, Vol. 1
  3. Reincarnated As A Sword, Vol. 3
11th
  1. Reincarnated As A Sword, Vol. 4
13th
  1. Rainbringer: Zora Neale Hurston Against The Lovecraftian Mythos - Edward M. Erdelac
15th
  1. Reincarnated As A Sword, Vol. 5
  2. Shadow Service, Vol. 1
19th
  1. Chainsaw Man, Vol. 4: The Gun Is Mightier
  2. Ring Shout - P. Djèlí Clark
20th
  1. Manifest Destiny, Vol. 7: Talpa Lumbricus & Lepus
23rd
  1. Superman For All Seasons
24th
  1. Tinfoil Dossier, Book 1: Agents of Dreamland - Caitlin R. Kiernan
26th
  1. Tinfoil Dossier, Book 2: Black Helicopters - Caitlin R. Kiernan
28
  1. Frankenstein: Junji Ito Story Collection


MAY
2nd
  1. Tinfoil Dossier, Book 3: The Tindalos Asset - Caitlin R. Kiernan
3rd
  1. Abbott
7th
  1. We Only Find Them When They're Dead, Book One: The Seeker
8th
  1. Once & Future, Vol. 1: The King Is Undead
9th
  1. Once & Future, Vol. 2: Old English
12th
  1. The Secret History Of Twin Peaks - Mark Frost
  2. Witch Hat Atelier, Vol. 1
  3. Animeta, Vol. 1
  4. A Dead Djinn In Cairo - P. Djèlí Clark
15th
  1. Dragon Goes Househunting, Vol. 1
16th
  1. The Haunting Of Tram Car 015 - P. Djèlí Clark
17th
  1. MIND MGMT Omnibus, Volume 1: The Manager And The Futurist (R)
18th
  1. The Way Of The Househusband, Vol. 5
22nd
  1. MIND MGMT Omnibus, Vol. 2: The Home Maker And The Magician
24th
  1. The Murderbot Diaries #1: All Systems Red - Martha Wells
26th
  1. A Witch's Printing Office, Vol. 2
  2. MIND MGMT Omnibus, Vol. 3: The Eraser And The Immortals
28th
  1. Crossover, Vol. 1: Kids Love Chains
  2. A Witch's Printing Office, Vol. 3
29th
  1. Home Sick Pilots, Vol. 1
  2. Beneath The Rising - Premee Mohamed


JUNE
3rd
  1. Gideon Falls, Vol. 1: The Black Barn
4th
  1. Invincible: Compendium One
8th
  1. Invincible: Compendium Two
9th
  1. Something Is Killing The Children, Vol. 3
  2. A Witch's Printing Office, Vol. 4
  3. Gideon Falls, Vol. 2: Original Sins (R)
  4. Gideon Falls, Vol. 3: Stations Of The Cross (R)
10th
  1. Gideon Falls, Vol. 4: The Pentoculus
  2. Gideon Falls, Vol. 5: Wicked Worlds
  3. Gideon Falls, Vol. 6: The End
12th
  1. Reincarnated As A Sword, Vol. 6
  2. Chainsaw Man, Vol. 5: Minor
15th
  1. Witch Hat Atelier, Vol. 2
  2. One Piece, Vol. 1
  3. Wolf & Parchment, Vol. 1
18th
  1. Perestroika In Paris - Jane Smiley (RTD)
  2. Power Pack, Vol. 1: The Powers That Be
24th
  1. Invincible: Compendium Three
25th
  1. Welcome To Japan, Ms. Elf!, Vol. 1
  2. Kaiju Score Vol 1: A Monster Affair
26th
  1. Seven Secrets, Vol. 1
  2. Otaku Elf, Vol. 1
27th
  1. Black Hammer: Doctor Andromeda And The Kingdom Of Lost Tomorrows
  2. Mapping: The Trash-Tier Skill That Got Me Into A Top-Tier Party, Vol. 1
30th
  1. Black Hammer: Colonel Weird: Cosmagog
  2. Black Hammer: Barbalien: Red Planet
  3. Drugsore In Another World: The Slow Life Of A Cheat Pharmacist, Vol. 2


JULY
1st
  1. Black Hammer: Skulldigger + Skeleton Boy
  2. Mapping: The Trash-Tier Skill That Got Me Into A Top-Tier Party, Vol.1
5th
  1. Black Hammer: The Quantum Age
7th
  1. The Immortal Hulk, Vol. 9: The Weakest One There Is
  2. Berserker, Vol.1
8th
  1. Redneck, Vol. 1: Deep In The Heart (R)
9th
  1. Redneck, Vol. 2: The Eyes Upon You
10th
  1. Redneck, Vol. 3: Longhorns (R)
  2. Redneck, Vol. 4: Lone Stary
  3. Redneck, Vol. 5: Tall Tales
13th
  1. DCeased
14th
  1. Black Hammer '45
15th
  1. One Piece, Vol. 2
17th
  1. Quality Assurance In Another World, Vol.1
21st
  1. Miskatonic
  2. Otaku Elf, Vol. 2
24th
  1. Hellboy Omnibus, Vol. 1: Seed Of Destruction (R)
  2. One Piece, Vol. 3
28th
  1. Uncle From Another World, Vol. 1


AUGUST
3rd
  1. Chainsaw Man, Vol. 6: Boom Boom Boom
  2. Time Paradox Ghostwriter, Vol. 1
4th
  1. Hellboy Omnibus, Vol. 2: Strange Places (R)
6th
  1. Time Paradox Ghostwriter, Vol. 2
  2. Uncle From Another World, Vol. 2
  3. The Lord Of The Rings, Part One: The Fellowship Of The Ring
7th
  1. Mama Akuma, Vol. 1
8th
  1. Delicious In Dungeon, Vol. 1
12th
  1. Animeta!, Vol. 2
16th
  1. Hellboy Omnibus, Vol. 3: The Wild Hunt (R)
18th
  1. Hellboy Omnibus, Vol. 4: Hellboy In Hell (R)
23rd
  1. Delicious In Dungeon, Vol. 2
28th
  1. Headlopper, Vol. 1: Headlopper & The Island, Or, A Plague Of Beasts
30th
  1. Welcome To Japan, Ms. Elf!, Vol. 2


SEPTEMBER
1st
  1. Call To Adventure! Defeating Dungeons With A Skill Board, Vol. 1
2nd
  1. BPRD: Plague Of Frogs Omnibus, Vol. 1 (R)
3rd
  1. DC: The New Frontier, Vol. 1
  2. One Piece, Vol. 4
4th
  1. DC: The New Frontier, Vol. 2
5th
  1. Delicious In Dungeon, Vol. 3
6th
  1. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 1
  2. Zodiac Starforce, Vol. 1
7th
  1. Reincarnated As A Sword, Vol. 7
  2. BPRD: Plague Of Frogs Omnibus, Vol. 2 (R)
  3. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 2
8th
  1. God Hates Astronauts, Vol. 1: The Head That Wouldn't Die!
  2. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 3
10th
  1. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 4
14th
  1. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 5
15th
  1. Delicious In Dungeon, Vol. 4
17th
  1. One Piece, Vol. 5
20th
  1. The Devil is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 6
22nd
  1. BPRD: Plague Of Frogs Omnibus, Vol. 3 (R)
23rd
  1. Dragon Ball Super, Vol. 1
24th
  1. Scout's Honor
31st
  1. Percy Jackson And The Olympians, Book 1: The Lightning Thief (R)


OCTOBER
3rd
  1. The Superior Foes of Spider-Man, Vol. 1: Getting The Band Back Together
6th
  1. East Of Eden - John Steinbeck (R) (RTD)
  2. Chainsaw Man, Vol. 7: In A Dream
  3. The Superior Foes Of Spider-Man, Vol. 2: The Crime Of The Century
7th
  1. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 7
8th
  1. Kingdom Come
10th
  1. BPRD: Plague Of Frogs, Vol. 4 (R)
11th
  1. God Hates Astronauts, Vol. 2: A Star Is Born
13th
  1. Delicious In Dungeon, Vol. 5
14th
  1. The Low, Low Woods
  2. Head Lopper, Vol. 2: Head Lopper & The Crimson Tower
17th
  1. Percy Jackson And The Olympians, Book II: The Sea Of Monsters (R)
19th
  1. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 8
24th
  1. The Superior Foes Of Spider-Man, Vol. 3: Game Over
  2. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 9


NOVEMBER
4th
  1. Uncle From Another World, Vol. 3
  2. Delicious In Dungeon, Vol. 6
  3. Green Lantern: Far Sector
5th
  1. Helm Greycastle, Book One
  2. Percy Jackson And The Olympians, Book III: The Titan's Curse (R)
7th
  1. Deep Beyond, Vol. 1
8th
  1. Proctor Valley Road
  2. Maniac Of New York, Vol. 1: The Death Train
10th
  1. Ice Cream Man, Vol. 6: Just Desserts
11th
  1. BPRD: Hell On Earth, Book One (R)
14th
  1. BPRD: Hell On Earth, Book Two (R)
  2. The Mystery Of The Meanest Teacher: A Johnny Constantine Graphic Novel
  3. The Way Of The Househusband, Vol. 6
15th
  1. Alien, Vol. 1: Bloodlines
  2. Fearscape
16th
  1. Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, Vol. 1: Secrets And Rumors
17th
  1. My Heart Is A Chainsaw - Stephen Graham Jones (RTD)
18th
  1. Reign Of The Seven Spellblades, Vol. 1
  2. Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, Vol. 2: Hostile Takeovers
19th
  1. The Scumbag, Vol. 2: Moonflower
21st
  1. The Alchemist Who Survived Now Dreams Of A Quiet Life, Vol. 1
23rd
  1. Campfire Cooking In Another World With My Absurd Skill, Vol. 1
24th
  1. The Alchemist Who Survived Now Dreams Of A Quiet Life, Vol. 2
25th
  1. Campfire Cooking In Another World With My Absurd Skill, Vol. 2
  2. Campfire Cooking In Another World With My Absurd Skill, Vol. 3
  3. Campfire Cooking In Another World With My Absurd Skill, Vol. 4
  4. Campfire Cooking In Another World With My Absurd Skill, Vol. 5
27th
  1. BPRD: Hell On Earth, Book Three (R)
  2. BPRD: Hell On Earth, Book Four (R)
28th
  1. Drugstore In Another World: The Slow Life Of A Cheat Pharmacist, Vol. 3
  2. Ascendance Of A Bookworm, Vol. 1
29th
  1. BPRD: Hell On Earth, Book Five (R)
30th
  1. BPRD: The Devil You Know, Vol. 1: Messiah (R)


DECEMBER
1st
  1. BPRD: The Devil You Know, Vol. 2: Pandemonium 
  2. BPRD: The Devil You Know, Vol. 3: Ragna Rok
2nd
  1. Ascendance Of A Bookworm, Vol. 2
  2. Ascendance Of A Bookworm, Vol. 3
5th
  1. Rascal - Sterling North (RTD) (R)
7th
  1. Ascendance Of A Bookworm, Vol. 4
  2. Superior Spider-Man Complete Collection, Vol. 1
8th
  1. Call To Adventure! Defeating Dungeons With A Skill Board, Vol. 2
  2. Call To Adventure! Defeating Dungeons With A Skill Board, Vol. 3
  3. Kaju No. 8, Vol. 1
9th
  1. Immortal Hulk, Vol. 10: Of Hell And Of Death
  2. Chainsaw Man, Vol. 8: Super Mess
  3. Immortal Hulk: Great Power
11th
  1. Daredevil, Vol. 1: Know Fear
12th
  1. Daredevil, Vol. 2: No Devils, Only God
13th
  1. Daredevil, Vol. 3: Through Hell
14th
  1. Daredevil, Vol. 4: End Of Hell
15th
  1. Daredevil, Vol. 5: Truth/Dare
  2. Daredevil, Vol. 6: Doing Time
  3. Ascendance Of A Bookworm, Vol. 5
16th
  1. Harley Quinn, Vol. 1: No Good Deed
17th
  1. Ascendance Of A Bookworm, Vol. 6
20th
  1. Strange Academy, Vol. 1: First Class
22nd
  1. Komi Can't Communicate, Vol. 1
24th
  1. A Wrinkle In Time - Madeleine L'Engle
25th
  1. Spider-Man & The X-Men
  2. Strange Academy, Vol. 2: Bright Side
26th
  1. Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls - David Sedaris (R) (RTD)
  2. The Devil Is A Part-Timer!, Vol. 10
29th
  1. Delicious In Dungeon, Vol. 7
30th
  1. Otaku Elf, Vol. 3






playing the end against the middle and losing every time

Friday, December 31, 2021

September 2021Books Read Standouts: DC: The New Frontier, Vol. 1 / The Devil Is A Part-Timer! , Vol. 1

DC: The New Frontier, Vol. 1 

(Written And Illustrated By Darwyn Cooke)

    DC:NF is an exercise in what TVTropes calls reconstruction, which I will let a for-real comics author, and so has the edge over your humble blogsman in that he actually knows what the hell he's talking about, explain:

"It strikes me that the only reason to take apart a pocket watch, or a car engine, aside from the simple delight of disassembly, is to find out how it works. To understand it, so you can put it back together again better than before, or build a new one that goes beyond what the old one could do. We've been taking apart the superhero for ten years or more; it's time to put it back together and wind it up, time to take it out on the road and floor it, see what it'll do."


    So basically, what if the Justice League and everyone in it were actually what we remember them being in our collective cultural heart and mind? Not as laced with sexism, racism and homophobia as they were in the Golden Age? Not as artificially perfect, bland and two-dimensional (largely because they were bein strangled by censors and moral guardians) as they were in the Silver Age? And the less said about the Dark Age, the better, although it did lay the groundwork for a lot of good stuff, introducing the concept of the graphic novel and making Aquaman cool. (The Bronze Age is generally agreed to be Pretty Okay, as far as I've been able to discern.) What IF the heroes we know and love were Good and True but also capable of moral nuance, and aware that real problems require more than just punching and that sometimes there's just no good solution, but that you have to try anyway?

    You get New Frontier, is what.

    Combining extremely strong artwork, humanized versions of heroes it's previously been very difficult to empathize with, and origin stories for the Green Lantern and the Martian Manhunter that make them actually interesting, New Frontier is a chance to take what we love best about these characters and let them use those traits to ask some hard questions: is Superman a war criminal for following orders and supporting a possibly* unjust war**, is Wonder Woman right in her assertion that there's no point following the made-up 'rules' of war that make them feel better but don't actually do any good for the people they're supposed to be helping***? Does the Aqua-Man (BADASS BEARD DANCING LIKE KELP IN THE CURRENT) actually have any obligation to help a crisis threatening the dry-landers who are actively destroying his kingdom with pollution, and if so how in Davy Jones' ass is he supposed to when he's already responsible for the safety of an undersea empire more than twice the area of the entire surface world? DINOSAURS!, which is not a question but still very important? Has Captain Cold considered that he might just have a hypothalamus disorder, and maybe that's why he's always wearing a damn parka? SOME OF THESE AND MORE, because I actually just remembered Captain Cold was in this book before I remembered The Flash is; WHAT CAN I SAY: I'm a Snarter at heart. Also at heart? A guy who's gonna root for a black man forging twin sledgehammers and using them to singlehandedly murder an entire chapter of the Klan. I don't have any jokes for that one, it was just extremely upsetting and satisfying; 0/10 that it had to happen, 10/10 that it did.

    New Frontier isn't perfect--the Big Bad is a thing that's super cool unto itself but makes negative 6,000% sense in this story for my money--but it isn't trying to be; it's trying to show that we were always right to care about these characters and their stories, and it doesn't matter if they're going through a gross gritty phase, or they've got a writer with upsetting and obvious personal politics this year, or if three company-wide continuity reboots in the span of 24 months may actually have made it literally impossible for J. Jonah Jameson not to have been Uncle Ben. What matters is that when we read these, the make us want to be our best selves; that's not often easy or simple, and it helps to know that it isn't for Hal Jordan, either, and he's got a friggin' magic ring and he doesn't even have to deal with that absolute chudguncher Deborah In HR who still hasn't set up your direct deposit even though that's her whole goddamn job, DEBORAH, we all know you're just playing Angry Birds and pretending to know how NFTs work over there.

Score: 9/10 Times J'onn J'onzz Turned Into Columbo Before Realizing He Wasn't Real, But That The Litigious Estate Of Peter Falk Very Much Is 

*Definitely
**Yes
***Absofuckinglutely yes (in context)

Friday, November 19, 2021

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Review: The Low, Low Woods

The Low, Low Woods

(Hill House Comics and DC, Written by Carmen Maria Machado, Art by DaNi)


    "One day, it was just your regular piece-of-shit coal-mining town where people died the way God and the company intended: hacking up pieces of lung or crushed beneath ten tons of rock."

    So we are introduced to Shudder-To-Think, Pennsylvania, a coal-mining company town that's spent the last hundred years burning from the inside out, and that somehow just won't realize it's dead. That is not a metaphor. 

    Despite what certain chopped-up snake-flags will tell you, there's always been an understanding that the United States is too big to be one thing, and that the different countries-with-in-a-country all have distinct personalities, histories and ghosts: Southern Gothic stories don't happen in the same world, much less the same nation, as foggy Northwest Passage mysteries in Oregon, sun-bleached Florida Noir or Midwestern massacre. The last few decades have seen a resurgence in a specific subflavor of these stories dealing with what some would call coal-country, from the massively (and deservedly) popular fictional horror podcast Old Gods of Appalachia, hilarious but heartbreaking novel Meddling Kids and horrifying comic Redfork, to the crumbling smelting-town of Possum Springs in Night In The Woods and going all the way back to a ghost-town full of spectral miners damned to wander beneath the earth for their crimes in an episode of Carnivàle from 2003. 

    Key to this specific subgenre of Midwestern Gothic are two facts, indisputable and fundamental in the telling of a story in this setting:
    The first is that the Appalachian Mountain Range is unbelievably huge, it is the single largest thing on this continent, spanning 21 states and 5 Canadian Provinces, and even as mountains go it is inconceivably, impossibly old; yeah yeah the Grand Canyon is maybe as much as 70 million years old, and that's cool, but there are caves in the Appalachians that you, a human person, can physically walk into that have been there, in that exact spot, every second of every day since before life existed on this planet. These mountains are a reminder that as a species we are truly in the middle of our first breath; we have no ability to conceive the amounts of time the world actually deals in and as a result we are terrified of these fuckin' things. That's why the Rockies, the Cascades, the Superstitions and the Adirondacks, the Sierra Nevadas, those are all friendly mountains; gentle, lightly baked folk-singers write sweet, melancholy songs about those. But the Appalachians are something else entirely, and since you can't, as a grownup, point to a rock and say 'THAT BAD ROCK SCARES ME", we frequently imagine that they hold secrets, that they're gateways to--or prisons for--things beyond our understanding, because in a very real sense they are.
    The second key to understanding Appalachian Gothic is this: the extent to which small mining towns and the generations of American families (mostly poor and many of color) that worked them have been left in absolute ruin by the purpose for which they were created absolutely cannot be overstated. Of course there's the economic devastation when the single industry around which an entire community's livelihood depends upon and revolves collapses; the U.S. is littered with the corpses of these towns, abandoned when the coal or the iron or the granite runs out, or else peopled by living ghosts who either couldn't afford to leave when their host-body died or couldn't bring themselves to leave the only land their people have ever known. But the blood-cost is arguably higher: black lung (or any number of equivalent industrial diseases), industrial collapses and disasters, natural gas poisonings and fires, catastrophic environmental runoff that poisons the land and the water for the rest of time, the depression, addiction and other mental health issues that accompany all of this and, to top it off, the absolutely brutal retaliation against any attempt to improve on any of it; there's a reason that the United Mine Workers of America is one of the oldest labor unions in the country, founded after decades of strikebreaking and outright violence and murder against miners who fought for even the most basic rights and protections. All of this to say: the people who work towns like these are trying to get along like anyone else, but the mining itself, the towns and the companies are capital-b Bad, and given the nature of the story may also be that they dug too deep, either in ignorance and greed or, worse (maybe?), trying to Find Something down in the dark of the earth.

    All and all and all of this to say that The Low, Low Woods is unique in my experience of Appalachian Gothic stories, because the small, decaying coal-town of Shudder-To-Think is definitely chock fulla naturally-occurring Grade-A weird shit, monsters in the woods, magic-women and skinless men beneath the earth, but none of it is inherently malevolent, and there's definitely a Company that is extremely willing to write off human life for a profit, but they're not the bad guys. No, The Low, Low Woods is unique because it deals with the horrific brutality of small, poor, oppressed people turning on one another instead of on the Powers That Be, but more specifically it's possibly the oldest story in the history of civilization: men discovering something powerful and valuable and actively deciding to turn it away from the common good and weaponize it toward controlling women with violence and imposed silence. It is not my custom to reduce a story to being simply an aspect of its creators, but it is not coincidence that the artist and writer are both kickass dames, one of whom actually grew up in what might as well have been Shudder-To-Think, and are able to bring the darker side of the company town to light.

    Here's the breakdown: it's the nineties and two best friends, both lesbians teens of color, have no idea how they're gonna get the fuck out of this town when they graduate. Your English teacher thinks you have enormous talent and should go to college? That's great,  but you're 17, your dad's on disability from the mines and your mom's a waitress. You gonna stay in town and try to scrape out a living? Good luck, the mines caught fire and are burning beneath the streets; sinkholes swallow children and cars alike, and the ground is so hot that snow evaporates the second it hits. And if you stay, and if you can both survive and make a living, something...happens to the women in Shudder-To-Think when they stay here; they get forgetful, and blurry, and start to wander and lose track of themselves. And so we find our heroines as the story begins: waking up from just such a fugue in the movie theatre as the picture ends, aware only that they have no memory of the last two hours, and deciding it's fucking well time to find out why.

    I'm a white cishet dude, which means there's doubtless a lot about this story that isn't aimed at me and that I'm not catching, but it seems to me it's an excellent example of LGBT+ representation because it focuses on two gay girls of color whose characters are informed by those traits, but whose stories aren't impacted by them any more than they would've been if one of them had gone to her boyfriend's house instead of her girlfriend's. Personally I think people whose lives are very often in real danger for the crime of being who they are should get to be who they are as loudly and belligerently as they like, but I also understand that many in those communities just want to be allowed to live their human lives without constant focus on what makes them Different in the eyes of others, and this is a fantastic example of how that can be just as effective a storytelling and characterization technique. There's a trans character! They're referred to as such exactly once because it bears on how they came to be where they are, and then it's never mentioned again and the character is still entirely awesome, because they're an awesome character that's trans, not the other way around, and for trans people who just want to live life I have to imagine that kind of representation is just as important as the groundbreaking, public kind that's externally important. 
    Other symbols and themes that I am qualified to notice are: does the burning coal-mine stretching beneath the ground represent the endless, simmering hatred the patriarchy feels, and its invisibility represent the way our society chooses not to see the damage that silent fire does to real humans every day? Do the half-human monsters in the woods show us what some people have to do themselves in order to survive in a world that doesn't want them to exist? Are sinkholes that only show up when people are happy representative of the way we have to empty ourselves out and sell pieces of what's inside in order to have what we want? And the Skinless Men...well, the Skinless Men speak for themselves, although admittedly they mostly go 'BLARGH!'; we all know this classic way. I'm sure there are a bunch more! Maybe I'll find them someday.

    The Low, Low Woods is not what I expected, and not the story I would've told with this setting, and that is a good thing. It's filled with horrors I didn't know existed, both mundane and arcane, which make for much more effective storytelling and provides more of what stories are, fundamentally, supposed to do: place us in a new perspective and show us what life is like for people who aren't necessarily like us, why they're just as real as we are, and why we need to look at ourselves to see what endangers them instead of at dark, darting shapes in the wood. I mean the shapes are definitely there, they're just minding their own business and suggest you get your own house in order before you call the cops on theirs. Oh also: one of the girls has a bitchin' pocketknife named 'Toldyaso' that saves their asses more than once, and that is the raddest fucking thing I have ever heard. 

Score: 9/10 Bells At Rest, Lambs To The Slaughter.

    










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So Long And Thanks For All The Fish!

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